We seem to have a new "scarlet letter" among us that people are ashamed to expose: a positive Covid test.
There is so much secrecy surrounding these tests. We hear the whispers, the innuendos, and put on our sleuth hats to figure out who has Covid and who was just a "contact" or a "contact of a contact."
Why do we need to do this? There is no practical reason to act like Covid is a mark of shame.
Our tradition teaches us that we have an obligation to practice bikur holim. Actually visiting Covid patients isn't possible, but there are so many other ways to fulfill this mitzvah. A Zoom call, a phone call, sending a meal, shopping for the person, picking up dry cleaning – the list goes on and on.
The Rambam (Hilchot Avel 14:1) writes that visiting the ill is a way of fulfilling the mitzvah of loving your neighbor as yourself (Vayikra 19:18). There is a famous story about Rabbi Akiva. He had a student who was sick and no one went to visit him. So Rabbi Akiva went and cleaned the student's house and took care of his basic needs. As a result, the student recovered. "You have revived me," he said to his teacher.
This is not some ancient folklore. It's a relevant reality for many people, including me. My wife had Covid in December. I remember exactly what I was doing and the shock I felt when she said she had tested positive for Covid. There was fear, anger, and confusion. For the next 24 hours, I was in a whirlwind trying to figure out how to manage this.
At first, I felt like I couldn't handle it. I love to cook, but I was in such a funk, I ruined our food for Shabbat. After getting my bearings, I surrendered to the stigma that might come from telling friends and the community that my wife had tested positive. But I decided I didn't want to carry this weight all alone.
And what I found in my beautiful community was warmth, prayers, moral support, and practical help. The kindness we were shown made a tremendous difference. Some acts of kindness actually shift the way we experience things. It was as if a switch was triggered within the family and things became much more manageable.
I realize everyone experiences Covid differently and some cases are more severe than others. The "ah ha" moment for me was realizing I didn't have to work, take care of the children, manage Zoom school, take care of my wife, and do all the other household responsibilities by myself.
It was okay to say, "Our house has Covid, and I would love some help." There was nothing to be ashamed of. It was not as if my wife robbed a bank and was injured in the ensuing getaway. She got Covid – we have no idea how – and there is no shame in that. Thank G-d, she has completely recovered.
I would encourage anyone who has Covid or a family member who has Covid to feel safe to share the news with the community and to allow their community to fulfill the mitzvah of bikur holim. It is beneficial for everyone involved.